Jennifer Aniston credited as playing...
- Rachel: See? Unisex.
- Joey: Maybe *you* need sex. I just had it a few days ago.
- Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex.
- Joey: I wouldn't say no to that.
- Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
- Rachel: A moo point?
- Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
- Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?
- Rachel: You know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend.
- Ben: But you're not anymore. Because you were on a break.
- Rachel: Can you take care of Emma just for today?
- Ross: Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way.
- Rachel: I don't want my baby's first words to be "How You Doing"
- Phoebe: Ok, I got an idea. If it's a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it's a boy... Phoebo.
- Ross: Uhh... Sure, but let's not limit ourselves to just one name.
- Rachel: Ok, I got one. If it's a girl... Sandrine. It's French.
- Ross: That's a great name... for an industrial solvent.
- Rachel: Ok, you got a better one?
- Ross: Yeah, check this out. If it's a boy - Darwin.
- Rachel: Yes, Ross, I do want a son who'll be regularly beaten in the schoolyard.
- Phoebe: By Sandrine.
- [Ross and Rachel are trying to decide a name for their baby]
- Ross: OK, how about Ruth?
- Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, are we having an 89 year old woman?
- Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.
- Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.
- [Rachel is upset about something]
- Phoebe: Aww Pheebs.
- Rachel: Honey, that's your name.
- Phoebe: Oh, Pheebs is short for Phoebe I thought that's just what we called each other.
- Monica: Rach, it's the Visa card people.
- Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
- Monica: [on the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on.
- [to Rachel]
- Monica: Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
- Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks.
- Monica: That is the unusual activity.
- Ross: [frantically presses buttons on answering machine] Oh my God! Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
- Rachel: [from behind] I got off the plane.
- [Re: "If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?"]
- Monica: Sex!
- Chandler: Seriously. Answer faster.
- Monica: I'm sorry, sweetie. When she said "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you.
- Chandler: It's like a big hug.
- Phoebe: Ross, how about you? Sex or food?
- Ross: Sex!
- Phoebe: What about sex or dinosaurs?
- Ross: My God, it's like Sophie's Choice.
- Phoebe: Joey, if you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?
- Joey: I don't know it's too hard.
- Rachel: Come on, you have to answer.
- Joey: Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!
- Rachel: ...How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
- Dr Long: Three.
- Ross: Just three? I'm dilated three!
- [Ross and Rachel are picking out names for their baby, and have each 5 vetoes]
- Ross: Curie.
- Rachel: Veto. Rain.
- Ross: Veto. Mark.
- Rachel: Veto. Vince.
- Ross: Veto. Lance.
- Rachel: Veto. James.
- Ross: Hmmm...
- Rachel: If it's a girl.
- Ross: Veto.
- Phoebe: Is it just me, or is Vito beginning to sound real good?
- Monica: Anyway, are you gonna get a handyman to install all this stuff?
- Rachel: No, I was going to do this all by myself.
- Joey: [laughs] You're gonna do it?
- Rachel: Yeah. Why, you don't think a woman can do this?
- Joey: Oh, women can. You... can't.
- Rachel: Wha... married?
- Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!
- Rachel: What? Because that's your answer to everything?
- [a ritual to get rid of bad-boyfriend karma]
- Phoebe: Okay, now we need the sage branches and the sacramental wine.
- Monica: All I have is oregano and a Fresca.
- Phoebe: That's okay.
- [Adds them]
- Phoebe: All right, now we need the semen of a righteous man.
- Rachel: OK, Pheebs, you know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
- [Rachel complaining about her father]
- Rachel: Oh, it was horrible. He called me "young lady".
- Chandler: Ugh, I hate when my father calls me that.
- Joey: [drinking a beer on the boat] Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river.
- [yelling]
- Joey: Get out of the way jackass.
- [to Rachel]
- Joey: Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
- Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
- Chandler: You rent out these tuxes to celebrities for award shows.
- Rachel: Yeah.
- Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people screaming "Wow. You look fabulous." at them?
- Rachel: Honey, could I recommend watching a little bit more "ESPN" and a little less "E."?
