Ryan Gosling credited as playing...
Colt Seavers
- [from trailer]
- Jody Moreno: You are literally the last person on Earth I wanna see. I'd slap the shit outta you. I really could.
- Colt Seavers: And I'm open to that in a safer environment.
- Dan Tucker: But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
- Colt Seavers: Nah, man! You can't quote Rocky on me like that!
- Colt Seavers: I'm just a boy in a neon suit, standing in front of a girl, reminding her that Notting Hill is her favorite movie. And she watches Love Actually every year of Christmas.
- [from trailer]
- Jody Moreno: I'm the director. You're a stunt guy. We need to keep it super profesh.
- Colt Seavers: Profesh is my middle name.
- Jody Moreno: You said your middle name was Danger.
- Colt Seavers: That's my stage name.
- [from trailer]
- Colt Seavers: [preparing his dog, sitting next to him in a truck, for a jump] I'll buy you a drink after this is over! Engage your core!
- [cut to Colt icing his fist in a frozen margarita with the dog sitting next to him lapping up a drink in a beer glass]
- [from trailer]
- Colt Seavers: [after a fight; talking to Jody] I had no choice. I had to do some Jason Bourne shit!
- Colt Seavers: Tom, you need carbs! Your brain runs on glucose! For simple cognitive functions, you need them!
- Colt Seavers: I'm just a stunt guy! I'm working on Metalstorm, too!
- Iggy Starr: You lie! We're only on Metalstorm 1!
- Colt Seavers: I meant "also!"
- Colt Seavers: Y'know, honestly? It, uh, it all hurts. Getting hit by a car hurts. Being thrown out of a window hurts. Getting set on fire really hurts. But, uh... None of it ever hurt as much as not being with you.
- Jody Moreno: Where are you?
- Colt Seavers: Is that from a movie, or did I just make that up? It's pretty good. You can use it, if you want.
- Dressler: There he is!
- Jody Moreno: No, please...
- Colt Seavers: For what it's worth, I'm still in love with you. And I don't think you should give up on that happy ending.
- Jody Moreno: Colt...
- Colt Seavers: I gotta go.
- Colt Seavers: I just wanted to say that when I first got here, when you asked how I was doing and I gave you the thumbs-up, when you were like, "That's stunt guy bullshit," and you're right, it's total cliché, but, you know, there's a reason you don't see the thumbs-down stunt guy. You know, it's kind of part of our training. Right? You know, you get hit by a car, you get thrown out of a window, you get set on fire, you give the thumbs-up. But, uh, after my accident -- turns out, was not an accident, by the way -- I, uh... I wasn't okay. And not because I broke my back, because I just felt like a huge... failure. And I realized that, uh... you know, I'm not invincible. Huge shocker. And I thought maybe I wasn't so special or something, so I, uh... just figured that the thumbs-down version of me wasn't what you got into it for, so I disappeared. But, you know, I didn't just disappear on you. Uh... just disappeared on, on, uh, myself... too. Anyway, I'm sorry. You deserved more than that. I'm sorry.
- Colt Seavers: Did you just turn Jody into the sexy bacon?
- Gail Meyer: She's been the sexy bacon all along.
- Colt Seavers: Well, it all hurts. It always hurts. Getting hit by a car hurts. Getting set on fire hurts. And getting thrown out of a window really hurts.
- Colt Seavers: [Upon receipt of detailed contextual notes from Director] I can hit the rock better now---thanks